Spring is here, and that can only mean one think: it’s time for Baseball Ink and Chortler’s annual baseball limerick contest.
Yes, for third straight year – except for last year’s which was canceled – we are asking our loyal reader(s) to have a go combining our national pastime with light-hearted poetry of a debatable origin. Could you or someone you know be the Shakespeare of modern-day baseball-ish limerickery?
Please send your entry to webdude at chortler dot com
About Hellacious Acres: The Case of John GlassA man suffering from amnesia wakes up in a desolate barn from a cryogenic freezer to be informed that the planet has been devastated by a world war and reduced to little habitability by a subsequent alien invasion. He is thrown into a military mission to help reestablish a livable atmosphere for what’s left of humanity. Soon enough he encounters more than he bargained for: aliens, crazy survivors, inadequate equipment and a pretty unhealthy dose of bad luck. Jam-packed with visual inventions and plot twists, this movie offers a dark and humorous take on the post-apocalyptic genre.
Attila Ambrus, a former goalie who from 1994 to 1999 supplemented his meager income in the Hungarian professional ice hockey league by robbing banks, is set to be released from a jail in Satoraljujhely, Hungary on January 31.
And there is even a Facebook page to celebrate the occasion.
Known in his heisting heyday as the “Whiskey Robber”, Ambrus achieved folk-hero status by pulling off a string of 27 straight robberies of banks, travel agencies and post offices before he was caught on January 15, 1999.
Ambrus, now 44, obtained his famous moniker because he was seen drinking a shot of whiskey at a pub near the site of each prospective caper.
His sealed his fame by giving flowers to female tellers, sending bottles of wine to the police and by not harming anybody during his escapades.
On July 10, 1999 he further cemented his legend by escaping from a Budapest prison and pulling another robbery shortly thereafter before being caught again a couple of months later.
His story has since been told in books, musicals and film.
Ambrus has made the most of his time behind bars by earning a degree in journalism, creating ceramic works of art and learning foreign languages.
Reports in the Hungarian press say he has a job lined up after his release at a used clothing shop in Budapest, though there is also speculation that he will find a position in the local media – perhaps covering Hungary’s notoriously fragile banking sector.
An ice hockey fan in Szekesfehervar, Hungary discovered you don’t need a pair of skates to get involved in on-rink fisticuffs during a European EBEL league match between Red Bull Salzburg and home team Sapa Fehervar AV on December 29.
According to Hungarian daily Blikk, as Red Bull’s Ron Davison and Sapa’s Andras Tenk came to blows with one another, a fan reached out over the protective glass and started hitting Davison on his helmet. (Photos here on Blikk. and Nemzeti Sport).
The EBEL didn’t take kindly to this sort of inter-game participation from the still-unknown fan and promptly fined the Hungarian team 8000 euros.
More passive supporters of Sapa decided this week to help the local club out and are collectively trying to pitch in to raise an initial 3000 euros to pay off the fine.
The club is asking for the public’s help in finding the perpetrator.
There are virtues about Americans that any rational person outside of the United States cannot help but admire. Among them are open-mindedness and the belief that everyone deserves a fair shake.
Following the sudden breakup of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries after a mere 72 days together as husband and wife, Ladbrokes is providing odds on whom the amply posteriored beauty will marry next.
An athlete stands the best chance of being next in line to say “I do” beside the reality star. An active NBA player is 2/1, and an NFL player is 4/1 to place a ring on Kim’s finger. Professional baseball and hockey players are 5/1 and 6/1 respectively. Recently split-up Grand Prix racer Lewis Hamilton is 25/1 while golfing legend Tiger Woods is 33/1.
Odds are 100/1 that Kim will remarry before 2011 is through and 10/1 that her next marriage will be even shorter.
“We think Kim might take a breather after her whirlwind romance. We can’t rule out her next marriage breaking that record and when she does get hitched again it’s odds-on to be another athlete,” Alex Donohue of Ladbrokes said.
Here are the complete Kim Kardashian special odds:
Year of next marriage (after Kris Humphries)
2014 or later 2/1
Length of next marriage (after Kris Humphries)
Less than 72 days 10/1
Who will she marry next?
Any NBA active player 2/1
Any NFL active player 4/1
Any MLB active player 5/1
Any NHL active player 6/1
Lewis Hamilton 25/1
Tiger Woods 33/1
Jared Leto 33/1
Leonardo DiCaprio 40/1
Jake Gyllenhaal 40/1
George Clooney 50/1
Ashton Kutcher 50/1
Robert Pattinson 66/1
Fernando Verdasco 66/1
Alexander Skarsgard 66/1
Justin Timberlake 80/1
Ian Somerhalder 80/1
Ryan Gosling 100/1
Bradley Cooper 100/1
Chris Pine 100/1
Shemar Moore 100/1
Ernests Gulbis 100/1
Ashley Cole 100/1
Justin Bieber 100/1
Peter Andre 100/1