Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007 10:06:30 AM


Bird Poop Misses Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston narrowly averted disaster yesterday - as if a string of failed romances had not provided enough hardship and misery for America's darling.

Were it not for the fact that a distance of 200 yards separated our national sweetie pie and the descending fecal matter of a bird flying overhead, headlines around the world would read much differently today.

One hesitates to think of the psychological consequences which would have ensued for the beautiful, graceful, yet fragile Ms. Aniston had this story taken a much darker turn. Would she have been able to surmount this unforeseen personal calamity? Would this have been the final blow in a career marred by misfortune?

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