Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007 06:32:42 AM
RESULTS
Euphemism for Masturbation Contest Results
We asked our loyal readers to help us come up with some euphemisms for masturbation.
We're giving a DVD and a t-shirt from the powerful, award-winning film
You Are Alone to the winner.
The following is what we were sent:
Honk the bobo.
Punch the clown.
Shake hands with Mr. Slick.
Strangle Kojak.
Bend it like backhand.
Peel a tuber.
Mastering the meat massage.
And the winner is ...
Light a stick of dynamite with friction.
About You Are Alone
“We’re gonna play a game of Snap! Pick a bracelet. Pull it hard!”
But it’s a game of desperate consequences in You Are Alone, a dark exploration of how far a man and a woman will go to escape loneliness, if only for an hour. Daphne, a Yale-bound high school senior whose depression has blurred her sense of reality, works as an escort, advertising her services online. It’s a little bit of a “fuck-you” that helps get her through the day, until her next door neighbor catches her as the “entertainment” at his nephew’s bachelor party. With her hidden life precariously hanging in the balance, Daphne agrees to spend one hour with her neighbor.
Initially confrontational, Daphne and her neighbor begin to shed their bitter layers of personal disappointment and general cynicism by talking about sex. It’s eye-opening for her neighbor: BBBJs, dining at the Y, salad tossing, and, of course Snap! But behind this teenager’s jaded fantasies hides the very essence of heartbreak, acceptance, need, and desire…ironically paralleled by a broken man’s desperate attempts to test the limits of her advertised promise to do anything and everything.
This internationally acclaimed movie was officially selected at 16 film festivals, and won the following awards:
· Brooklyn International Film Festival – Best Actress
· Indiefest Chicago – Best Actress
· Indiefest Chicago – Best Screenplay
· Indiefest Chicago – Best Vision Award
· Northampton Independent Filmfest – Best Narrative Feature
· New England Film & Video Festival – Best Narrative Feature
We asked our loyal readers to help us come up with some euphemisms for masturbation.
We're giving a DVD and a t-shirt from the powerful, award-winning film
