Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007 12:47:15 PM
HEADLINES
Headlines of the Future
In conjunction with the release of the futuristic film
Children of Men,
we asked people to submit headlines for the year 2027.
Here is what we received:
Comedy writer Paul Tanter
War for oil finally ends as oil runs out.
President Gates denies rigging "vote by email" election.
Tom Cruise finally weds Lourdes Ritchie - pregnancy expected.
Sea levels reach peak, Mount Everest gets crowded.
White House renovations unearth hidden Clinton porn stash.
RIP: Joan Rivers finally snaps during surgery.
George Lucas unveils cast for Star Wars: Episode 10.
Michael Jackson celebrates as pals legally able to drink.
Woody Allen 'cured' declares analyst.
Gordon Ramsey in McDonald's takeover.
Hawking gets bionic body, wears out bionic dick in days.
Flying cars 'still fucking twenty years away' say scientists.
Paris Hilton closes, scores of L.A men queue elsewhere.
Grand Canyon landfill full.
New series of The Simpsons still diminishing returns.
Culkin given lifetime achievement Oscar.
England becomes U.S state: Blair dies happy.
London to New York bridge claims more lives as users refuse to drive on
other side.
Nicole Richie finally revealed to be hoax.
Walt Disney unfrozen and reanimated.
Monkeys begin talking, Statue of Liberty still half covered by sand.
Hawking gets bionic body, wears out dick in days.
Macaully Culkin wins lifetime achievement award.
LeBlanc still hoping for new series of ?Joey?.
Creators of 'Lost' promise ending soon.
Soylent Green to solve World's homeless problem.
Creationists prove World is flat.
SUV Sales Rebound as Gasoline Prices Dip Below $10 a Gallon
Castro Makes First Public Appearance Since Latest Stem Cell Procedure
Internet Shuts Down: "Wasn't Such a Great Idea After All" Creators Admit
U.S. Postal Service "Forever Stamp" Blamed for Collapse of Philatelic Market
Last Remaining Glacier Fragment on Display at Arctic Summer Splash
Presidential Candidate Oprah Winfrey Defends "Free Car" Campaign Strategy
Monument of Gerald Ford Tumbles from Mt. Rushmore, Kills Eleven
U.S. Border Fence Nears Completion; Population of Mexico Approaches Zero
Virginia Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Texas Rings In New Clean Air Rules With Tire Fire
California Scientists Map God Genome
Ousted Karl Rove Takes New Job With Hugo Chavez
House Outlaws Computers in Wake of Masturgate
National Knife Association Attacks School Violence
Bill O'Reilly Wins Bill O'Reilly Award
New Hybrid Locomotive Uses Passengers for Fuel
Trump Tapped For Guantanamo Resort Makeover
Fox Entertainment Owner Rupert Murdoch to Found Reality College
Entries from our readers
CNN Celebrates 20 Years of Non-Stop Anna Nicole Smith Coverage
Ousted Venezuelan Strongman Hugo Chavez Pelts Bush II's Crawford Home with Rotten Eggs, Toilet Papers Trees
Dannielynn has talent! Who knew?
King William NUDE!!!! (middle pages)
O.J. Simpson Closing in on Ex-Wife's Murderer.
Last Wild Animal Alive Ruins Chances of Survival by Eating Baby Human!
The Federline boys auction bling to bail Mom out again. "
HarperCollins announces total sales of Jenna Bush’s Ana Chronicles at
last outrank those of J. K. Rowling’s Potter series
