Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
CORRESPONDENCE Re: Paris Hilton - Earth To Matt Leinart
Hello Mr. Leinhart? Matt? This is the planet earth calling. I hear
you have been out and about cavorting with Paris Hilton the past
few nights since she broke up with her latest son of a Greek shipping magnate.
That's okay. It's your business. Still, I'd just like to ask you one
question: What the f**k are you thinking?
I mean, according to my records, you are a 6'5", 21-year-old Heisman Trophy
winner with a future of making enough money to last you a thousand lifetimes. Essentially, that means 99.9% of all the women who inhabit this orb eponymously named after that the entity yours truly refers to using the perpendicular pronoun would be after you like Dick Cheney on a spotted owl.
And, as much as 99.9% of the males who inhabit me dream of having a young billionairess pay their way through life, Paris Hilton is one route few in their right minds would choose to go down.
In other words Matt: Come back to Earth. I miss you.
Hello Mr. Leinhart? Matt? This is the planet earth calling. I hear
you have been out and about cavorting with Paris Hilton the past
few nights since she broke up with her latest son of a Greek shipping magnate.
