JOURNALS
The Secret Diary of Matt Drudge
February 2, 2006
REJECTED!!! NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH SUPER BOWL WITH ONLINE REPORTER!!!
February 1, 2006
NASA PROBE OF INTERNET GOSSIP FINDS NO SIGNS OF SOCIAL LIFE!!!
January 25, 2006
ALITO MAY CAST DECIDING VOTE ON INTERNET REPORTER'S SEXUALITY!!!
January 18, 2006
WOW!!! I COULD HAVE HAD A V8!!!
December 18, 2005
SHOCKER!!! PEOPLE ACTUALLY READ THIS CRAP!!!
December 9, 2005
SEAN HANNITY TO ANCHOR ONLINE REPORTER'S FANTASY!!!
November 30, 2005
QUESTIONS ARISE AFTER ONLINE JOURNO PUTS ON PINK SHIRT!!!
October 25, 2005
MISSING!!! INTERNET REPORTER'S SEX LIFE!!!
October 16, 2005
HOLDOUT!!! ONLINE GOSSIP REFUSES TO TAKE DOWN GARBAGE FOR FIVE DAYS!!!
October 12, 2005
IS HE OUR ISN'T HE? ONLINE REPORTER PUTS JUDY GARLAND POSTERS ALL OVER HIS WALLS!!!
October 11, 2005
REPORT: THOSE WHO STARE INTO A COMPUTER SCREEN ALL DAY ARE BORING AS HELL!!!
October 10, 2005
FLASH! ONLINE
REPORTER SPENDS 95% OF HIS TIME DOWNLOADING PORN!!!
October 7, 2005
WORLD ABOUT TO BLOW ITSELF UP!!! BUT AT LEAST
I JUST SAVED A BUNCH OF MONEY ON CAR INSURANCE!!!
October 6, 2005
NOTE TO SELF!!! STOP DROOLING OVER ANN COULTER PICTURES!!!
June 1, 2005
ONLINE REPORTER NEEDS TO GET A LIFE!!! DEVELOPING...
May 30, 2005
UNBELIEVABLE!!! ONLINE GOSSIP SPENDS ENTIRE DAY IN FRONT OF COMPUTER DIGGING UP USELESS INFORMATION
ON THE MINUTIAE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES!!!
May 12, 2005
OH NO!!! GIRLFRIEND FINDS NAKED BRITNEY SPEARS PHOTOS ON HARD DRIVE!!!
May 10, 2005
LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF BAD DREAM!!! ONLINE GOSSIP SPOTS GRAY HAIR!!!
May 5, 2005
REPORTER DOES 40 IN LIVING ROOM!!! FORGETS TO PUT ROLLER SKATES IN CLOSET!!!
May 3, 2005
OH!!! SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT WEEK-OLD PEPPERONI PIZZA!!!
May 2, 2005
S**T!!! REPORTER CALLS GIRLFRIEND BY WRONG NAME!!!
April 207, 2005
GIRLFRIEND ORDERS REPORTER TO SLEEP IN HALLWAY AFTER THREE BOWLS OF CHILI FOR DINNER!!!
April 25, 2005
BOY, DOES REPORTER FEEL GOOD ALL UNDER!!!
April 20, 2005
SHOWERED AT LAST! ONLINE NEWS HOUND SPENDS ALL MORNING IN PYJAMAS!
March 23, 2005
D-E-N-I-E-D
GIRLFRIEND SENDS ME PACKING AGAIN
March 15, 2005
GOSSIP REPORTER AWAITS MOMENT OF TRUTH: SHE LOVES ME ... SHE LOVES ME NOT ...
March 14, 2005
ONLINE GOSSIP COLUMNIST WAKES UP!!! SMELLS COFFEE!!!
March 10, 2005
MILK GOES SOUR!!! REPORTER FORGETS TO PUT IT IN FRIDGE!!!
March 5, 2005
GHOSTS!!! SPOOKS!!! OTHER CREEPY THINGS!!! ONLINE REPORTER HAS NIGHTMARE!!!
March 1, 2005
S**T!!! IDIOT REPORTER LEAVES F**KING KEYS IN CAR!!!
February 25, 2005
GOSSIP DRESSES UP!!! NOWHERE TO GO!!!
February 10, 2005
YUK!!! ONLINE REPORTER MEETS DOUGHNUT HE DOESN'T LIKE!!!
Febrary 2, 2005
OUTRAGEOUS SMELL TAKES OVER APARTMENT!!! MUST REMEMBER TO TAKE OUT TRASH!!!
January 27, 2005
BRING IT: NEIGHBOR AND ONLINE GOSSIP COLUMNIST CONTINUE RAGING BATTLE OVER PARKING SPACE!
January 24, 2005
MESSAGE FROM ABOVE? BIRD DOES BUSINESS ON ONLINE REPORTERS HAT!!!
January 17, 2005
REPORTER CAN"T SEE!!! WHERE DID I LEAVE MY GLASSES?!?
January 10, 2005
BOREDOM!!! ENNUI!!! NOTHING ON TV TONIGHT!!!
January 6, 2005
LOUD NOISES, SCREAMING HEARD AS ONLINE GOSSIP REPORTER ENTERS DENTIST'S OFFICE
January 5, 2005
HUMONGOUS STAIN RAMPAGES SHIRT!!! TIME TO DO LAUNDRY!!!
January 4, 2005
FLASH: LIBRARY BOOKS THREE WEEKS OVERDUE! SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES EXPECTED!
January 3, 2005
PANGS OF HUNGER CONTINUE INTO MID-MORNING AFTER BURNT TOAST FOR BREAKFAST
January 2, 2005
OIL CRISIS!!! CAR RUNNING LOW!!!
January 1, 2005
CONFUSION!!! DISLOCATION!!! WAY TOO MANY BEERS DRUNK LAST NIGHT!!!
December 31, 2004
NOISES HEARD WELL INTO THE EVENING!!! NEIGHBORS HOST WILD PARTY!!!
December 30, 2004
END OF WORLD AS WE KNOW IT; GIRLFRIEND DUMPS ME
December 21, 2004
INDECISION MARS ONLINE REPORTER'S CHRISTMAS GIFT CHOICES
December 20, 2004
PAIN!!! MISERY!!! WHAT A HANGOVER!!!
December 17, 2004
SMOKE. FUMES. 'IT WAS LIKE A WAR ZONE' ONE WITNESS SAYS AS ONLINE REPORTER FORGETS ABOUT BURRITO IN MICROWAVE
December 16, 2004
BLACKOUT IN KITCHEN!!! MUST CHANGE LIGHT BULB!!!
December 15, 2004
MIGHT HAVE DATE SATURDAY. DEVELOPING...
December 14, 2004
COFFEE LEAVES BITTER TASTE; FORGOT TO BUY SUGAR YESTERDAY
December 13, 2004
OMINOUS GREY CLOUDS FORM IN SKY. (NOTE TO SELF: WEAR RAINCOAT.)
December 10, 2004
MONSTER GRASS GROWS OUT OF ALL PROPORTION: LAWN NEEDS MOWING
December 9, 2004
SURPRISE NIGHTTIME INVASION; NEIGHBOR PARKS IN MY SPOT
December 8, 2004
INTERNET GOSSIP TO TRY MAKING OMELETTE WITH THREE EGGS INSTEAD OF TWO...
December 7, 2004
MAN CAN'T READ SMALL PRINT. WHERE ARE MY GLASSES?
December 6, 2004
DRUDGE MOTHER WAITS FOR CALL...
December 3, 2004
DOG LOOKS HUNGRY
December 2, 2004
MYSTERY SURROUNDS ONLINE GOSSIP REPORTER. WHAT'S WITH THE HAT?
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