Friday, January 20, 2006 07:50:19 AM
TRANSLATION
Paris Hilton Gives A Deposition
Paris Hilton gave a deposition last
November in a lawsuit in which she is accused
of slandering Zeta Graff, the former girlfriend
of her former boyfriend Paris Latsis. And, fortunately for us,
a transcript of this deposition has just been released. Our team
of so-called reporters with far too much time on
their hands translated what Ms. Hilton had to say.
Paris Hilton: (When asked if she knew the
last name of a friend)
It's like a weird Greek name. Like Douglas.
Translation: Just thought I might try to
instantly dispel whatever minute shred of hope there was that there is any
sign of life above my neck.
Paris Hilton: Whatever I write, it doesn't
mean anything. It is just words I write.
Translation: I guess I am a lot like an
online satire writer in some ways.
Paris Hilton: (When asked if she was aware that the story had been republished in
U.K. magazines) No... there is stuff in London.
Translation: Who needs online satire writers anyway, when you have me?
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