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Hi darling.
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Hi honey, I have some wonderful news! According to
The News of the World I'm going to have a baby.
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That's odd. Us Weekly says you don't want
any more kids.
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But People reveals in its latest issue that
you're the father.
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How the heck could I be the father when
The National Enquirer says that I have
secretly been going back to Jennifer Aniston
the whole time I have been seeing you?
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Well, why would I even want to have kids with you or
any other man when The Sun says I am a lesbian?
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Doggone tabloid press. Always desperate to print anything they can get their
hands on. Name me one good
thing you could say about them.
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Well, for one thing, they're more accurate in their
reporting than The New York Times.
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