Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Thursday, January 05, 2006 11:44:54 AM
TRANSLATION Tom Cruise Fights With Katie Holmes' Parents
Tom Cruise and his fiancee Katie Holmes spent
part of the holidays with her family in
Toledo, Ohio. A source close to Cruise told
Life & Style Weekly that the
visit did not go well. Our team of so-called
reporters with
far too much time on their hands
translated what the Cruise source had to say.
Cruise Source: I don't think Tom will
ever feel welcome in the Holmes' house again.
Translation: Of course he'll never feel
welcome in the Holmes' house again. He jumped
and down and ruined all their furniture like he
did with Oprah's. You try finding a good
upholsterer during the holidays.
Cruise Source: They ended up leaving
three days earlier than planned.
Translation: They ended up leaving three days
earlier than planned after hearing the Day's Inn in
Toledo was giving one humdinger of a New Year's Eve party.
Cruise Source: My opinion is the wedding
is not going to happen.
Translation: See what useful information the
NSA has managed to gather since
the Bush administration allowed it to eavesdrop on
the phone calls of American citizens.
Tom Cruise and his fiancee Katie Holmes spent
part of the holidays with her family in
Toledo, Ohio. A source close to Cruise told
Life & Style Weekly that the
visit did not go well. Our team of so-called
reporters with
far too much time on their hands
translated what the Cruise source had to say.
