Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005 07:47:32 AM
FROM THE FRONT Bill O'Reilly Chronicles The War On Christmas
Bill O'Reilly, the host of "The O'Reilly Factor" on Fox News and the
commander in chief of US Central Command in the
War on Christmas, has generously allowed us to run excerpts from his battlefield journal.
Day 1: Okay, so I missed Vietnam. But finally
here's a chance for me to show my cajones.
Day 2: Today we set up camp a safe distance
from enemy fire. The 33rd floor of the
Fox News building.
Day 5: Intern brings lukewarm coffee.
War is hell!!!
Day 8: Our battalion runs for cover as
enemy chants of “Happy Holidays” are
heard in the distance.
Day 10: Poland and Mongolia join the
coalition of the willing.
Day 14: Two weeks into this campaign and
the strains of war are beginning to take
their toll. Today I mix a bright blue
tie with a pink shirt.
Day 17: Reports surface that the enemy sought
to procure millions of “Season's Greetings”
cards from Niger in Africa which it planned
to use against the United States.
Day 23: Morale is at an all-time low as a majority of
Americans begin to think that the War on Christmas
was built on faulty intelligence.
Bill O'Reilly, the host of "The O'Reilly Factor" on Fox News and the
commander in chief of US Central Command in the
War on Christmas, has generously allowed us to run excerpts from his battlefield journal.
