Tuesday, November 29, 2005 11:38:10 AM
TRANSLATION
The Joint Statement Of Jessica Simpson And Nick Lachey
It's been six days since the end of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, and
finally our team of so-called
reporters with far too much time on their hands have managed to translate
what the two had to say in a joint statement announcing their decision to split.
Jess and Nick Statement: After three years of marriage, and careful
thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways.
Translation: After three years of marriage, this is the first coherent sentence
either of us have been able to complete.
Jess and Nick Statement: This is the mutual decision
of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other.
Translation: Cut! That's a wrap! Your 15 minutes are up!
Jess and Nick Statement: We hope that you respect our privacy during
this difficult time.
Translation: Now how exactly are we going to break down that check
from Us Weekly?
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