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Friday, November 11, 2005 11:46:10 AM
FAMOUS PHONE CALLS
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Part IV

The following is a transcript of a recent telephone conversation between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
Hello, love of my life and future mother of my Scientological offspring.
Hello, my non-publicity stunt dream man. Say, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. Something that's really been bothering me.
Okay, darling, I may as well confess that I might have given out the name of a covert CIA agent to reporters. It was at the end of a long line of phone calls. These things just slip out. You know how it is.
No, that's not what I wanted to ask you.
Now, honey, there's a perfectly good explanation why nobody found any WMD in Iraq. Just give Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney a few more years and I'm sure they'll find one.
No, that's not it either.
Then what is it, woman who makes me want to destroy furniture?
How come I never get a decent punch line to finish these phone conversations off with?
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