Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005 08:40:19 AM
TRANSLATION Tom Cruise Fires His Sister
Tom Cruise has decided to hire a new publicist to replace
his sister Lee Anne DeVette. DeVette will
now just represent his charitable work. Our team of so-called
reporters with
far too much time on their hands translated Mr. Cruise's
announcement of this major event.
Tom Cruise: She always expressed a desire
to oversee and expand the day-to-day
activities of my charitable endeavours.
Translation: First order of charitable work: restoring Oprah's furniture.
Tom Cruise: This seemed an appropriate time to make that segue.
Translation: This seemed an appropriate time before I go out
and do something really, really stupid
and embarrassing in
public that might harm my image in some way.
Tom Cruise: She's done a wonderful job.
Translation: That's the last time I leave her in charge of the
Federal Emergency
Management Agency.
Tom Cruise has decided to hire a new publicist to replace
his sister Lee Anne DeVette. DeVette will
now just represent his charitable work. Our team of so-called
reporters with
far too much time on their hands translated Mr. Cruise's
announcement of this major event.
