Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Friday, September 23, 2005 01:00:29 PM
TRANSLATION
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Wedding Aren't Getting Married At My Place, Says George Clooney

Actor George Clooney strongly rejected the rumor that has been touring the online gossip and satire circuit for several weeks now, ie, that his fellow Ocean's Eleven star Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are set to wed at his Italian villa. Our team of so-called reporters with far too much time on their hands translated his dismissal of the news.

George Clooney: I would know and I can tell you there’s not going to be a secret wedding.

Translation: But if they skip my annual Rosh Hashana bash, I am going to be very, very angry. I can promise you that.


George Clooney: I've met Angelina - I like her very much - but I would never talk about whether they are together or not I don't speak of my own personal life - I would never speak of my friends.

Translation: Instead I am planning to write down every last detail in my new book which will be out before Christmas.

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