Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Monday, August 22, 2005 12:31:53 PM
TRANSLATION
The Rolling Stones In Concert

The Rolling Stones kicked off their American tour in Boston last night. Our team of so-called reporters with far too much time on their hands translated what the 240 plus years of combined rock-and-roll talent uttered on stage.

Rolling Stones: I can't get no satisfaction.

Translation: But at least since I am over 60 I do get to ride 50% off on the train.


Rolling Stones: If you start me up, I'll never stop.

Translation: Oy, my back, my knee, will someone please turn me off?


Rolling Stones: You can't always get what you want.

Translation: All I wanted was a bowl of oatmeal in the morning and a good pastrami sandwich every once in a while. Is that so much to ask?

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