Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 06:44:19 AM
TRANSLATION Ashlee Simpson Returning To SNL
Ashlee Simpson told Billboard magazine this week that she
is in talks with the producers of Saturday Night Live to return to the
scene of her embarrassing lip-synching malfunction last year.
Our team of so-called reporters and fellow acid-reflux sufferers translated
what she had to say.
Ashlee Simpson: I've obviously fallen on my face before in front
of a bunch of people, but I've learned it's a beautiful thing
and it's OK for people to be broken.
Translation: I've obviously also hired
a new guy to press the play button this time.
Ashlee Simpson: I've battled those demons. I'm ready
to go back out and do it again.
Translation: This time I'll be singing a song with no lyrics.
Ashlee Simpson: It's not confirmed yet, but I want to do it.
Translation: Don't thank me. I'm just doing what I can
to keep online satire sites in business for another day.
Ashlee Simpson told Billboard magazine this week that she
is in talks with the producers of Saturday Night Live to return to the
scene of her embarrassing lip-synching malfunction last year.
Our team of so-called reporters and fellow acid-reflux sufferers translated
what she had to say. 
