Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 05:22:47 AM
TRANSLATION Jessica Simpson Talks About Her Boobs
Dukes of Hazzard star Jessica Simpson yesterday on Sky News did
what most of the staff on this sorry excuse for a publication
have been doing non-stop for months -- spoke about her boobs. Here is how our team of so-called reporters with
far too much time on their hands translated what she said.
Jessica Simpson: Mine are definitely real.
Translation: As if anyone on the
staff of this sorry excuse for a publication is ever going to get close enough to argue.
Jessica Simpson: At school my boobs were bigger than all my friends’ and I was afraid
to show them.
Translation: If I were a guy and had the biggest boobs in the class then I definitely would have grown up to become
an online satire writer.
Jessica Simpson: Now, I feel they make my outfits look better. They’re like an accessory.
Translation: Why am I even mentioning this? Men have far more
important things on their minds than to just concentrate
solely on the size
of a woman's breasts all the time.
Dukes of Hazzard star Jessica Simpson yesterday on Sky News did
what most of the staff on this sorry excuse for a publication
have been doing non-stop for months -- spoke about her boobs. Here is how our team of so-called reporters with
far too much time on their hands translated what she said.
