Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005 08:50:41 AM
TRANSLATION Jennifer Aniston Speaks In The Era Of Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie
Former Friends star Jennifer Aniston
provided the September issue of Vanity Fair with
her first major interview since
splitting with Brad Pitt (who is now believed to be dating Angelina Jolie).
Our team of so-called reporters with far too much time on their hands translated
what she had to say.
Jennifer Anistion: Am I lonely? Yes. Am I upset? Yes. Am I confused?
Yes. Do I have my days when I've thrown a little pity party for myself?
Absolutely.
Translation: Help! Won't someone help me! My life is beginning
to sound as pathetic and desperate as that of
an online satire writer.
Jennifer Anistion: I know there's somebody out there
for me, but I am absolutely in no rush.
Translation: If only I could find a way to meet an
online satire writer who spends all day in his pyjamas and
lives in the basement of his mother's house.
Jennifer Anistion: (On Brad Pitt) I really do
hope that someday we can be friends again.
Translation: I really do have to learn to stop saying
that word all the time.
Former Friends star Jennifer Aniston
provided the September issue of Vanity Fair with
her first major interview since
splitting with Brad Pitt (who is now believed to be dating Angelina Jolie).
Our team of so-called reporters with far too much time on their hands translated
what she had to say. 
