Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Thursday, July 28, 2005 07:53:49 AM
TRANSLATION The Rolling Stones Announce 'A Bigger Bang'
Rock-and-roll greats the Rolling Stones put out a press release
this week announcing that the title of their new CD will be
“A Bigger Bang.” As the over-60 band gears up for the start
of its new tour in Boston on August 21, our team of so-called reporters with far too much time on their hand translated what was on the press release.
The Rolling Stones Press Release: The band came up with the title
"A Bigger Bang" reflecting
their fascination with the scientific theory about the origin of the universe.
Translation: Now whatever gave you the idea that it would have anything
to do with a slang term
reflecting greater coital stimulation?
Rolling Stones Press Release: The Rolling Stones will once again bring fans
electrifying performances and state-of-the-art stage production.
Translation: Wait until fans at a sold-out Madison Square Garden see Mick Jagger's electrifying
tap dance and the state-of-the-art BINGO game we're planning before the first intermission.
Rolling Stones Press Release: Ticket sales have reached record highs, with fans already purchasing
97% of all tickets currently available for sale.
Translation: Sales really skyrocketed once the rumor was
spread that we were giving away a free flu shot with
each purchase.
Rock-and-roll greats the Rolling Stones put out a press release
this week announcing that the title of their new CD will be
“A Bigger Bang.” As the over-60 band gears up for the start
of its new tour in Boston on August 21, our team of so-called reporters with far too much time on their hand translated what was on the press release.
