Friday, July 15, 2005 07:04:39 AM
TRANSLATION
Omarosa Splits From Husband
Omarosa, one of the most controversial figures
in the history of reality television, is back
in the news today. The former Apprentice contestant,
who is currently appearing in “Surreal Life 5” on VH1, has decided
to separate from her husband of five years, Aaron Stallworth, according
to People magazine.
Here
is how our team of so-called reporters with far too much time
on their hands translated her announcement.
Omarosa: I wasn't as supportive to him as I could have been.
Translation: I'm such a giving person as it is. It's just my nature.
What more could I
have done?
Omarosa: He's home on the ranch (in Texas).
Translation: Coincidentally it happens to be the same ranch
where Dick Cheney has built a bunker two miles under the ground.
Omarosa: Presently I'm working on several projects and on being Omarosa.
Translation: Meanwhile, the next Mr. Omarosa is presently busy running for cover.
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