Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005 02:42:22 PM
TRANSLATION Martha Stewart Talks To Vanity Fair
Martha Stewart provided an interview
for the August issue of Vanity Fair in
which she discussed
her recent prison sentence and subsequent
house arrest. Our team of so-called
reporters with far too
much time on their hands
translated what the household guru had to say.
Martha Stewart: I'll never get used to wearing an ankle bracelet, because it hurts. It irritates you.
Translation: Still, it beats having to listen to Michael Bloomberg speak for any length of time.
Martha Stewart: I know how to get (an electronic ankle bracelet) off.
Translation: Now if only I could figure out a way to get back the money I lost on that stock deal.
Martha Stewart: You can figure out how to get (an ankle bracelet) off. It's on the internet. I looked it up.
Translation: It turns out they make great napkin rings.
Martha Stewart: (Speaking about her new reality show) I would never say 'You're fired.'
Translation: I would also never say 'Who cares about the f**king SEC? I said sell now!'
Martha Stewart provided an interview
for the August issue of Vanity Fair in
which she discussed
her recent prison sentence and subsequent
house arrest. Our team of so-called
reporters with far too
much time on their hands
translated what the household guru had to say.
