Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Thursday, June 30, 2005 05:26:25 AM
TRANSLATION Bono Wants His Pants Back
Bono, the lead singer for
mega-successful Irish rock
band U2, went to court in
Dublin to reclaim
items such as a Stetson hat
and a pair of trousers that had been taken from him by the band's former
stylists. In an attempt to
prove there is no such thing
as having too much time on
your hands, our team of so-called
reporters translated what he said
before the judge.
Bono: They are important items
to the group and we take them seriously.
Translation: My Stetson hat.
My pants. What will I sing about now?
I'VE FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.
Bono: They sound like trivial items.
They’re really not.
Translation: I kept my lucky condom
wrapper in those pants.
Bono: Those items were iconic.
It would be like the Edge giving one
of his guitars away.
Translation: Or to state it more accurately:
it would be like an online satire writer getting
a real job.