Tuesday, June 28, 2005 10:22:01 AM
TRANSLATION
Paula Abdul Campaigns for Cleaner Nails
Paula Abdul went to Sacramento yesterday to speak before the
California state legislature about the dangers of
unclean nail salons. Our team of reporters with
far too much time on their hands translated what she said.
Paula Abdul: Being a professional dancer, I'm no stranger to pain.
My tolerance is this high, we learn to suck it up and not complain.
Translation: Don't make me have to listen to Corey Clark again!!!
Please, I beg you!!! Show some mercy!!!
Paula Abdul: I was publicly humiliated.
Translation: All three readers of this online satire site laughed at me.
Well ... Nearly laughed at me.
Paula Abdul: That is why with an open heart and a selfless agenda,
I implore you to pass this bill.
Translation: Hey, someone had to do something
to keep Tom Cruise out of the headlines another day.
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