Monday, June 27, 2005 12:00:05 PM
TRANSLATION
Michael Jackson Thanks His Fan(s)
Michael Jackson allowed himself to return briefly to the online satirical
pages two weeks after the end of his
child molestation trial. The singer
posted a brief thank-you note to his fans on his website this Sunday. Our team of so-called
reporters with far too much
time on their hands translated his words.
Michael Jackson: Without you,
my fans, I could not have made it through.
Translation: I still can't make it through. Get out of my damned driveway. The trial ended two weeks ago.
Michael Jackson: Your ever-present love held me, dried my tears, and carried me through.
Translation: And that's all it did. Nothing more. The holding and the carrying were perfectly normal, innocent acts.
Michael Jackson: You are my inspiration.
Translation: Judging by the look of some of you freaks outside the courthouse, if you're my inspiration then it's no wonder my record sales have been in steady decline.
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