Friday, June 24, 2005 10:39:05 AM
TRANSLATION
Tom Cruise Matches Wits With Matt Lauer
We tried. We really did try not to
write something about Tom Cruise today.
But then, you see, who should have a testy interview Matt Lauer on the Today
Show first thing this morning. Yes, none other than the man who claims
Katie Holmes as his muse, the star of War of the Worlds, Scientology's
most prominent proponent... Extraordinarily, our team of reporters with far too much time on their hands managed to get up before noon today and translate some of Mr. Cruise's heated exchange with Mr. Lauer.
Tom Cruise: No, you see. Here's the problem, Matt. You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do.
Translation: Al Gore and I invented psychiatry.
Tom Cruise: Matt, I'm asking you a question.
Translation: And the question is: Is that a water pistol
you've got hidden in your sleeve? Because if it is, man, you don't know me when I'm angry.
Tom Cruise: I'm passionate about life, Matt.
Translation: As long as my agent tells me there's a profit to be made
out of passion, I'm all for it.
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