Updated daily because we have nothing better to do.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005 01:15:45 AM
TRANSLATION The Tom Cruise Water Episode Continued
Tom Cruise continues to play a central role in the headlines for yet another day. For some reason,
members of the satirical press refuse to take him -- or themselves -- seriously in spite of his frightening brush with H2O
Sunday night in London during the premiere of his new film War of the Worlds. Here is how our
team of so-called reporters with far too much time on their hands translated Mr. Cruise's remarks after his watery
confrontation.
Tom Cruise: I really work hard to make people feel good.
Translation: Gotcha. Man, you should have seen the look on your face.
Tom Cruise: Do you like thinking less of people, is that it?
Translation: Do I want the truth? I can't handle the truth!
Tom Cruise: (to fake reporter) Don't run away.
Translation: Hey, come back here and take some credit for helping me stay in the headlines all week.